Laying in your front yard drinking beer can lead to alien anal probing...or at least it did last Sunday. It was a cloudless summers night and the neighborhood was sleeping (except the noisy ass crickets). Half tipsy, trying our best to be quiet and not disturb my neighbors (yet failing miserably in our attempt), my crazy girl friend and I scout out the spot with the best view of the night sky to watch a meteor shower. Having found the perfect spot, we drag lounge chairs into the front yard (trying not to spill our beers) and set up to witness natures show.
The mosquitoes were thicker than a 70's porn star bush (insert bad mental image here), so a bug repelling candle was placed between our two chairs (the campfire). There we laid in my overgrown lawn with our makeshift campfire drinking beer and giggling like school girls. Cars drove by and slowed as I imagine the drivers were thinking "what the hell are these two on and where can I get some?"
After about 1/2 hour, the only thing we were seeing were planes or "Blinking red flying stars". Boredom started kicking in so we did what anyone in our position would do...and posted to Facebook.
The conversation started off innocent enough, and though the Funny Penis Person seemed sure that the meteor shower was the night before, we were not detoured continuing our watch on the night sky. Still nothing. So the conversation continued.
Traffic is going by and the two of us laying in the dark in the yard, the only light coming from our campfire candle and our cell phones, laughing till our sides hurt as we start talking about UFOs and alien anal probing. Traffic slowed to a crawl as the drivers rubberneck to figure out what the hell we were doing. Then we switch our focus from extraterrestrial aliens to our local onion picking Mexican ones (we live in Vidalia, famous for one thing...onions). It was time to have a little fun with the Funny Penis Person and send him the gift of an alien anal prob.
We had given up all hope of seeing massive amounts of shooting stars to wish upon, but we'd laughed till our bellies burned. I'm not really sure if it happens in every yard or just my yard, but laying in the yard drinking beer can and did lead up to alien anal probing...for the Funny Penis Person. Unlike the "Cowboy from hell", the Funny Penis Person does have a sense of humor and despite our undesired gift to him, he is still talking to me...but I doubt he'll ask me for phone sex. I kinda wish he would though, cause I'd talk in a mexican accent and say things like "I insertar la sonda profunda en tu culo". This one time, I might make an exception and give him some phone sex, of the alien anal probing type...so Funny Penis Person...what are you waiting for? Pick up that phone and ask me what I'm wearing!
