Last Friday began as
any other Friday. People prepared for
their work and school day, said goodbye to their loved ones as they ventured to
their places of employment and educational institutions. Nobody could have imagined the horror that
would soon transpire. Without warning or
apparent reason, a young man by the name of Adam Lanza, having already killed
his mother by shooting her four times, shot his way into Sandy Hooks Elementary
School in Newtown, CT and killed 20 children and 6 school employees before
taking his own life.
I didn’t find out about
this school shooting until early Saturday, but as a mother and a human being
the news broke my heart. I sobbed as I
read the horrific details and I couldn’t help but think of what that community
and the families of the victims were going through and how could they survive
such a tragedy. I had a confusion of
feelings as I went between sadness, anger, shock and just plain outrage that
something so senseless could happen to children at such a young age without any
reason, explanation or warning. What
could possibly bring a man to snuff the life out of so many innocent children
and their educators, as well as his own mother?
The sad fact is that we may never know, and knowing won’t undo what’s
been done, or bring back those that have been lost…they are gone…forever.
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All I wanted in that
moment was to talk to my son (who was at his father’s for the weekend). I needed to tell him I loved him. I wanted to hold him, knowing so many parents
in the Newtown area would be unable to do so with their babies that night and
my heart ached for their losses. What if
this tragedy had happened in my community?
What if it had been my child, my niece or nephews, my child’s friends and
classmates? So many thoughts ran though
me.
As a parent, as a
person, as a citizen my heart has hurt for the Newtown community as they’ve
begun laying these senseless victims to rest in the highly publicized funerals,
and have wondered how I’d feel knowing that my pain and loss was on display for
the entire country through the media.
Would I feel supported by the outpouring of concern or would I feel
violated by the lack of privacy in that awful time in my life and in the lives
of my family and friends as we mourned over our lost loved ones?
Despite my queries, a
few things I knew with certainty. Life
is short and we are without a crystal ball to foresee the future. We are often quick to anger, long to resent,
cautious to love, and slow to forgive.
What if someone is holding onto grudges from past mistakes when
something like this happens? Parents
angry at their children for decisions they’ve made in the ignorance of youth,
or adults holding onto resentments of mistakes or decisions made by their
parents in their rearing? Any of the 28
victims (including the shooter and his mother) of the Sandy Hooks Elementary School massacre will not have a second
chance, a chance to say goodbye, or to apologize to loved ones, and loved ones
must go on with any unsettled business forever remaining unfinished. Don’t wait till tomorrow to open your heart
to love and forgiveness because there is no guarantee that tomorrow will come
for everyone. Be quick to love, be quick
to hug those you love and to tell them you do.
As humans we are all imperfect, none of us blameless. Forgive the sins of the past, and love in the
present and the future we’re lucky enough to enjoy with the ones who matter
most to us. To all my loved ones, be you
family or friend, know you are loved and accepted…flaws and all.
