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Monday, October 10, 2011

The Invisible Booby Bandit

Saturday morning, after a late night out with friends, I awoke needing to take a girlfriend to work.  Having slept only in a tank top and panties, I changed into a t-shirt and jogging pants (no bra as I was merely driving and dropping her off) and went to pick her up.  After dropping her off at work and getting back to the house, I felt something pull from under my boob.  Having long hair which sheds terribly, I at first thought it was a hair, but when I went to remove the irritant, I instead found found gum…chewed and sticky gum, all over the underside of my boob and half way down my tummy.  What the hell?
I go to the bathroom, lift up my shirt and examine my gum painted torso wondering how the hell that happened.  I mean, obviously I must have fallen asleep with gum in my mouth, but with the amount of hair I have, surely it would have fallen into my hair, been all over the bed, or on the OUTSIDE of the tank top I slept in…but no…it was all over my left boob and upper tummy.  I checked the bed and found no gum, I turned the tank top inside out and still found no gum.  How the hell did this happen?  I mean, it’s not every day you wake up with green sticky boobs…well, at least not for me. 

As the day progressed, I just couldn’t get this oddity out of my mind.  I’m still completely perplexed.  The only possible explanation is that I was visited in my sleep by the Invisible Booby Bandit, who had left his mark.  The least he could have done is wake me up and let me enjoy the experience!

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