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Sunday, December 4, 2011

Bar Room Blow Job

Tonight I gave my first bar room blow job.  I tell you this not to brag or boast, but merely to recount the experience.  I never thought I’d be saying this, much less writing about it for the world to read, but since it took place in a bar, I cannot reasonably expect it to stay private.
It started innocent enough…the bartender talking about my man-friend’s birthday, then she asked if I would do a blow job him.  She told me that she’d do it, but she felt kinda weird being that her husband and I would be there, so I HAD to agree.  I mean, geez.  That was last night. 
Tonight was his birthday, so I go to the bar where my man-friend is moonlighting.  The bartender and I are talking about his bday blowjob, when one of the waitresses, who’s listening in, hearing about his upcoming birthday gift says, “You’re gonna do it here in the bar!?”   It’s then that I realize that she (much like most of you) was thinking we were talking about oral sex, rather than a provocatively taken shot.  I about fell out I was laughing so hard. 
With great amusement, we explained what we were actually discussing. With what I can only describe as a sigh of relief, she says, “When I saw you go into the bathroom earlier I was watching to see if he followed you.”  Still laughing, I informed her it would take place on the bar in front of her before in a bar room bathroom, though judging by her noticeably flustered state, I think the bartender and I found it much funnier than she.
The bartender asked me if I was ready, but I wasn’t.  I needed to finish my drink and get a little more courage built up.  I mean, it’s not every day you do a blow job in front of friends and strangers alike.  Then it’s time.  A chair is positioned, and my man-friend is seated.  I must admit, my heart was pounding, my palms where sweating, but I couldn’t let that stop me.  Both of us are feeling the pressure to perform…then the plastic shot glass filled with some concoction is placed between his legs on the chair.
The plastic shot glass contained brown liquor topped with some type of whipped cream that was described by one of the onlookers as "toothpaste like" in appearance.  As with any first time, it was awkward and lacking in finesse, but I did a little dance and rubbed a little bit, before kneeling down and bringing my lips between his legs to take the mystery shot.  I was feeling a little relieved as I took the cup in my mouth and tilted my head back, until nothing came out.  Sucking a little harder, I was surprised when, without even a courtesy tap, my mouth was filled with an indescribably textured gooey liquid that at first I wasn’t sure if I would spit or swallow.  Suppressing the urge to gag, I managed to gulp it down.  (I must admit to feeling a moment of déjà vu)
(no this isn't me, but another bar bj'er)
It was pretty disgusting and took me a minute to get my gag reflex under control and make my eyes quit watering.  A few minutes later when discussing the vile drink with the bartender, I was telling her about the difficulty getting the liquid to release, my surprise when it finally did, and my reaction as to not knowing if I’d be able to swallow or have to spit it…suddenly I understood why the drink was called a blow job!

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