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Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Factory's Closed But the Playground Is Open!

Boredom got the better of me at about 9:30 last night, so I decided to go shoot a couple games of pool.  I take a shower and head to a favored local establishment.  Upon arriving at the establishment, I see a gentleman at the tables I’ve played with for years, shooting against an unknown man.  I lay some quarters on the table and wait my turn.  A couple games in, I go to the bar for a beer.   The owner is behind the bar, which is never a real good thing. I place my order and wait…and wait…and wait.  I finally get his attention for a second time and ask about that beer.  That’s when it happens.  He leans in and says, “I thought you were pregnant.”  WHAT!!!
Normal people probably would have been offended or asked where he heard that from, or a multitude of other questions and emotions.  Me…no.  Without missing a beat, I say simply, “Honey, while I’ve kept the playground open, I closed the factory many years ago.” 

For all that know me, that comment wouldn’t be a shocker, or even a small surprise, but an expected degree of smartassism I tend to be notorious for; however, I did mention there was an unknown man playing at the table.  I commence to playing pool with my new pool playing partner, who’s game is seriously suffering.  I little while later, he just can’t contain it anymore and tells me how wrong it was to make that comment around a single man.  He just couldn’t concentrate on the table knowing there was an open playground right next to it!
I guess I have discovered a new and very effective pool playing strategy.


  1. Your line is f'ing funny. Good for you on calling out those red necks...

  2. Thank you. I guess I should have followed it up with something like, "Why would you say something like that? Do these pants make my butt look big?"