Blondie McBaffled: Showing my NADs

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Showing my NADs

Sunday, the incredibly funny, tell it like it is, holder of not just any man card, but the Dude Write Platinum Man Card, Six-Fingered Monkey (Six herein) posted a rant on his loathing of Instagram and it's overuse and filter abuse. For those of you fortunate enough not to know what Instagram is, it's an app for your iPhone or Android device where you "Snap a picture, choose a filter to transform its look and feel, then post to Instagram. Share to Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr too – it's as easy as pie. It's photo sharing, reinvented." This quote taken directly from instagram.com.

Much like Six, I'm wondering when it became necessary to "reinvent" photo sharing. I mean the change from film to digital is A-FREAKING-MAZING! It has revolutionized photography and allowed us to do so much in so little time. Add to the digital revolution, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr, Photobucket, and the countless other social media sites available to us for exchange of these ever evolving snapshots into our lives. Why do we need to distort those memories into some picture that in no way actually shows the moment as it is, but in a cute and fuzzy way we wished it was (or wish we look)?

In a brave stance against the Instagram craze, Six challenged the Blogosphere to join him in his newly created memorial day for unedited phone photography titled NAD or National Anti-Instagram Day. So today, I set out to prove that you can still be an artist while not editing the photos that are taken with your phone, and I think I have accomplished my goal. Behold!!!!

Is it a road cone or something more? I like to think of it as SOOOO much more. I mean, people are using Instagram to take grainy pictures of coffee cups and trash cans and calling it art. They have nothing on this. Notice how my shadow becomes one with the cone, and the cone becomes my head. Suddenly my shadow has a cone head. And the toes...sheer genius. I mean a sandal wearing, red toe-nail'd shadow with a cone head and parking lot weed belt. I feel like the fucking Picasso of smart phone photographers right now!

My artistic genius aside, how about a real life moment? Or better yet, a self portrait. There are so many Instagram photos where the asshat, I mean poster, strikes the same pose over and over and then applies a different filter and then posts like they are some famous model and self photographer all rolled up into one awesome Instagramer. (NOT!!!) In protest of the beauty queen pose, I give you this!

Notice the natural messiness of the hair, the obvious signs of aging, and the sheer mystery. Am I having a bad scratch and sniff moment with my finger, am I digging knuckles deep for that booger what's grown roots, or popping a puss filled boil? Only I know the answer, but I've got the memory EXACTLY as it looked when the picture was snapped.

Now I've taken both the above pictures today in observation of NAD, in support of the Anti-Instagram movement that shall soon be sweeping the cyber and cellular nations. However, I think in closing I should show Man-Friend's Anti-Instagram photo artistry taken on the day after Six's post. The picture shows what happens when my son and I try to get out of a patio chair after stuffing both our fat asses in it.

To all the Instagramer asshats out there who think you could do better using your magic filters; develop an imagination, learn some real creativity and for fuck's sake, strike a new pose!